Type 1 Diabetes is challenging. You seriously never know what you are going to get from one day to the next. I have tried to eat the same food every day for a week and my sugars are never the same. I finally think I have figured out how to handle breakfast. I eat the same thing 6 of 7 days a week. I know boring right? Out of those 6 days 2 might have a similar response. The others are all totally different. I used to say I was a control freak. I love order and I love to make things happen. I like hard work and perseverance and mostly, I like to succeed.
Living with T1D has made me reconsider my outlook on life. It took me years to realize no matter how hard i try I will never get complete control of my sugars. There are so very many factors that affect it, some of which are not even known. Food, exercise, hormones, stress, sleep, all have been shown to have a direct effect on blood glucose levels. I don’t know about you but I have no idea which days which hormones are high and low and which days the 2 minute difference in timing of my mealtime bolus will cause a huge shift in my sugars for the next 4 hours. I drove myself insane for many years trying to get control. Then I realized something. Nobody is perfect and our bodies are definitely, imperfect. We have broken pieces and nothing man creates can ever replicate what God has given us.
Does this mean life with diabetes is impossible? Does it mean why bother trying if we can never succeed? I know many patients who say yes to this. To me the answer is a clear absolute no. It simply means we need to adapt and to change our expectations and perspectives. Diabetes may not be totally controllable, but honestly, is anything in this life? Is there any part of your life you are totally in control of? For me the answer to that question is a heck no! I tell my patients this: when you are diagnosed with diabetes you have 2 choices. You can chose to figure out a way to make this disease fit into your life, find a way to make it work for you. Or you can ignore it or fight it and hate it and one day it will come back to bite you in the booty (this can be blindness, renal failure, missing limbs). Sadly the possible side effects are not pretty.
So how do I live with this disease? How do I go day after day struggling for normalcy? Well my answer is simple, I do my best. I adjust myself, and every single day I know I have a new chance to make it better. Some days I succeed others I don't. But I surely celebrate those days I have a great day. I never give up. I never quit. Some days I am frustrated but other days I am rocking it. I accept the good and the bad. I try and try again and again. I accept the bad days and appreciate the good ones. I gave up on perfection, but I refuse to give up on success. Even if it is only 1 day or half a day or a few hours here and there. Looking at my blood sugar tracings, I celebrate when I have a 6 hour 12 hour flat line tracing. On a rare occasion I will have a full 24 hour tracing that is good. I try to replicate it and some days it works but others it does not.
Success is always in our own perspectives. How we see the world and how we see ourselves within the world is how we judge our success. Instead of comparing yourselves to others with diabetes, I challenge you each to compare yourself to yourself, from one day or month or year to the next. Stop looking at others. We are all different and will never be the same ever. No 2 people are and therefore, no 2 diabetics are. So do the best you can do for you and accept that some days you may have to settle for a less amazing day the ones around it. Give yourself a break on those bad days and just pledge to do your best. This does not have to be a battle, embrace your diabetes and keep on biting into those chocolates until you find the flavor you like.