Lately life has been a giant chaotic crazy mess. I still can’t believe we have been shut down. Like everything seems to have come to a standstill. We are all advised to stay home and stay safe. We are told to only go out to get necessities. Toilet paper has become one of the most sought after items in the world. Where exactly are we living? Is this like the prehistoric days of Bedrock? My kids left school on March 13th for Spring break and here were are months later and they have never gone back. We are now all at home in our make shift offices and “classrooms”. It is eerily quiet on the roads, if you do go out. I feel like we have entered an apocalyptic era. I know this won’t last forever, and thank Heavens Amazon still delivers as do my pharmacies. I am able to get my diabetes supplies that I need to survive. It has made me think a lot though about what will happen if and when the time comes when I can’t still get them.
I have been made fun of by many people around me for “hoarding items”. I grew up with a father who would bargain shop and double and triple coupon, buying massive quantities of foods when they were on sale. We had boxes of cereal running all across the tops of you cabinets when I was growing up. I guess I sort of take after him. I have 2 refrigerators plus an extra chest freezer and a pantry that is lets just say large. One thing is for sure, we won’t run out of food any time soon. And luckily for me, when this all started we had just planted a ton of seeds in our little garden and we are already seeing tomatoes on 2 of them. So I don’t worry about food much. And as for my medications, well I have been brought up in a way that I order as soon as I am able to get my next 3 month supply and by doing so, I have a nice stash of insulin that will last me at least a year. I worry about those patients and friends I have seen and heard who wait til they run out of insulin to call for a refill. Of those that are almost out and calling frantically begging for a refill cause they have only 1-2 days left. I am grateful that this is not how I do my diabetes.
I think it would be safe to say that most of us who have type 1 diabetes and are completely reliant on insulin for survival, have learned to stretch things out at times. Like you are on vacation and you realize you only brought enough insulin to refill your pump 1 more time. Or your sight comes out and you don’t have a back up one on you. Now what? Of course you forgot to carry around with you that back up pen we are all told to carry at all times. In theory this is a great plan but in reality, well, it’s Florida and it is hot and I can’t afford to throw away pen after pen after it has been in my purse for 30 days. I have had time when I have gone into panic mode. So now I have learned to keep syringes hidden in my car and in my purse and in my backpack. Worst case scenario, you stick the needle in the pump and draw some insulin out right?
Having diabetes is stressful some days. Days when you forget something you need. Days when you get where you are going and realize you don’t have your meter or you strips or you insulin. The pen you brought is empty. Or your site comes out. I am sure we have all had days like this. Where we feel like the biggest failure in the world because as our doctors tell us “you should have…….”. Funny how often the doctors forget that NOBODY IS PERFECT!!!! I mean is there one person out there who has never made a mistake? Is there anyone who has never forgotten to bolus for a meal or forgotten to check a sugar before eating that snack? I feel like I need to make this announcement to those who are not aware yet, “DIABETES IS HARD PEOPLE”. Go ahead doctors, I would love to see you do diabetes better then me. I would love you to show me the “perfect diabetic”.
Trust me I am a total type A personality. I strive for perfection. I hate making mistakes. I hate messing up. I get angry at myself when I have a blood sugar that I know would have been better if I had only…….. (fill in the blank). There are other days where I do everything right and even then my sugars are so far from perfect it drives me nearly insane. Diabetes is almost like a curse to those of us who are perfectionists. Those of us who try so hard to do everything right. With diabetes even if you do everything right, you will have days where it all goes wrong.
Now back to the wonderful world of quarantine and the way I have been feeling lately. Life in quarantine is weird. I mean to me it seems like everything diabetic should be rocking their sugars right now. Seriously, what else do we have to do with our time, LOL? We are all being forced to slow down and see what truly is important. Many of us are out of jobs (temporarily or for some permanently). Shopping for food is more difficult. We can’t go like anywhere. Even our doctors offices are closing doors. We are being forced to do pretty much everything virtually now. For me this is not bad, luckily my CGM is virtual anyway and if I needed help I could call my MD and upload my DEXCOM and have them review my sugars and tell me what to do. For me I am taking this forced “slowed down” time to get out there an exercise. My kids have no activities and my clubs or sports. We can’t even go to church. I am loving the fact that every night after dinner we go for a bike ride together, 6 miles each day! I love that we get to spend the whole day together. We are playing basketball at lunch. We are playing card games and board games. We are talking and we are just together. I have to admit, I kind of love it. I am cooking more and we are eating better (because I am cooking more).
Luckily my job is allowing me to still work from home. I am learning how to do medicine via “telehealth”. Secretly I love it and want this to last a lot longer. This whole forced slowing down has shown me that my life is really not what I want it to be. This extra time with my kids and the extra time I now have for me is what I have been missing for a long time. I really think quarantine will do me good permanently by showing me how much I should be doing for myself that I have not been doing. So everyone, I ask you, how are you handling/adjusting to your lives in quarantine? Are you seeing what I see? Are you managing your diabetes better now that you have the time to do it?