Still Waiting........ — T1D-Girl

Still Waiting........

Patience is a virtue they say. Sometimes the best things in life are those things you want so badly, yet they seem to take forever to arrive. I have been told often that sometimes we simply have to wait patiently for things to come, but if we are honest with one another, waiting sucks. I am a doer not a waiter I used to think. If I want something bad enough and work at it hard enough, then I will achieve it. I decided to go for my master’s degree and I did. I decided to go back to church and I did. I decided to have kids and I did. The old me used to believe that working hard with the goal in mind will get me what I want. The new me, however, knows this is not always true. Sometimes, we simply have to wait for things.

When I was diagnosed at age 9, I was told by so many people, that a cure was just around the corner. I was told they are so close, within 5 years type 1 diabetes will be a thing of the past. I used to long for that day to be rid of this disease, this label, this lifestyle. Well here I am 33 years later and I am still waiting. That 5 years has now become 33 years and still no cure. Research has blossomed and they have come up with a ton of ways to manage your diabetes. I am very thankful for these devices, they do make it easier, but none of them are a cure. Even this upcoming “artificial pancreas” will not be a cure. It will not take away the constant need for glucose monitoring and the constant need for extraneous insulin infusions and blouses when I eat. Management of diabetes is not a cure.

How are we supposed to keep hoping and keep waiting for the day a cure has arrived? How do we keep our chins up and an our spirits high when we are stuck with this disease that could decrease our life expectancy by years if we don’t manage it well? Why has it been so many years and so many advances later and yet we are not closer to a cure then we were 33 years ago. If I dwell on these thoughts for too long, it gets depressing. I know people are out there thinking, you are alive and you can survive and you can manage your diabetes. It makes it seem like this is an easy disease to have and deal with. Well those of us who are blessed with this disease know the ugly truth, it is not easy.

If you believe in God, like I do, I can see this disease as a challenge to make me stronger. To help me grow and become a better person. It has for sure changed my life in too many ways to count. Do I want a cure? You bet, am I willing to wait (yes I know I don’t really have a choice), but yes, I can wait for the day type 1 diabetes is a thing of the past. It may not be in my lifetime, but I believe it will be one day. Until then, the waiting makes me stronger. The waiting makes me want it more and when the day does come, I will be so very grateful.

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